Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
