4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
BRING THE BAGELS
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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