i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
