if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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