she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
