I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
