he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
