If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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