she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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