But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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