Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
