return my video game
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
