You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
