My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize