You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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