Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
