it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
