ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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