Plan B is the new Plan A
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
