finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
