he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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