hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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