So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
