Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
