they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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