Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
