Welp...herpes.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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