Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
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I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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