I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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