how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
