capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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