naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
