Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
