I will die if light touches me.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
