I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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