so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
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The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
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Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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