Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
