Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
