I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
