i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
