Swine flu. Run for my life!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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