You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize