you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
