I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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