My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
