Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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