You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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