Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
