Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
