I hate your face
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
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His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
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The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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