You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
