Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
