i was rollin on her like bob the builder
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
