Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
