So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
