i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
