too bad you live with your parents still
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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