I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
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i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
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So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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