holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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