If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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