There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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