Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
