If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize