So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
